Sitting On The Fence

8 years ago I was a struggling single mom with one a little daughter who worked day and night to keep food on the table, bills paid, child care, rent paid and car payment going.. I had been divorced for about 8 years also and was very content (except that I was broke all the time) being who and where I was. It did not matter to me that my "EX" rarely paid child support or only visited his child when he was between girlfriends. He was the one that was missing out and I never ever ever took him to court for anything and I, by the way, worked in the family division of the court system. I was happy.
Then I met this amazing man...on the internet no less which was how I spent my free time, if I wasn't painting, since I had no money to go out or anything else for that matter. Well, to make a long love story short, we married after a brief whirlwind romance, commuting back and forth from country to country and he moved from France to Florida to be with me and my daughter although we did try like hell to move to France (how romantic), but the Florida courts, in the infinite wisdom saw it fit for me to remain in the U.S. so that my daughter can continue developing a relationship with her dad (who barely saw her) and who now lives in Costa Rica to avoid paying taxes, debts and of course child support and who hardly ever sees or calls his "beloved daughter".
Flash to the present: I now live in a beautiful lake home, have 4 dogs, still one beautiful TEENAGE girl and my amazing hubby and now I am a stay at home mother and wife. Although I have to say that I love staying at home and painting all day, I DO miss having my own money. It is rather frustrating to have to account for every whim I spend on.

I took a job and NOW I hate working too. What a conundrum. Although I love the money; I hate working and worse yet in an office with full of bitchy obnoxious women no less. what to do, what to do.. I put in my notice the other day (I have worked a total of one month) and now regret doing that too! Oh the money was so nice but then there is no time to spend it working all the time... any suggestions? In the meantime, I will paint.

INVISIBLE TO THE EYE

I have tried many times to give this piece its name. It says a lot about how I feel as a woman in the 'wife' role. It is one of those double edged swords. One side loves being wife, mother; the other side detests the isolation of it all. -like the feeling of being terribly and inconspicuously alone in a crowd. -Help!

I have called my painting, BROKEN, INVISIBLE, WIFE, and a few others but I don't seem to be happy with them and the painting does not feel 'settled' with those names either. The jury is still out on this one.

What do you think? Send me a title.

Thoughts: I painted this during the holiday season in 2008. I was feeling left out and invisible and it disturbed me terribly and made me miserably sad.

You see, I am the sort of person that gives my all to anyone who requests my attention, especially my friends and loved ones.

I won't watch TV, pay bills, or amuse myself on the Internet when someone is talking to me. I find it the pinnacle of rudeness to do this. This courtesy is never extended to me. It's unsettling -And so the painting came about.

This is a painting I did in 2008 for a dance themed show. I was watching a documentary on Africa and their many aboriginal tribes and was inspired. what do you think?